Bobble-headed Communications

Spending time here in India has led me to reexamine assumptions about what is universal and what is culturally relative.

For example, if you ask an American to imagine two motorized vehicles driving straight toward one another in a busy road, as if playing a grown-up game of "chicken," only for one to swerve and miss the other at the last moment - the American would probably say that this is an unsafe driving practice and assume that this perspective is universal (if they experience this - as I have many times now - they may pass out first and then offer their opinion after being revived). And yet, it is common practice here and many Indian drivers would be perplexed or bemused by the notion that someone else finds this unsafe, not to mention unsettling. (We were in an auto-rickshaw in Jaipur one night and the driver turned the wrong way down a one way street. He realized his mistake and started to turn around - but there was a lot of traffic and he realized it would take him a long time to get to where we wanted to go. He looked back down the one-way street, thought for a moment and then, I could see it in his eyes and body language - thought to himself - "fuck it" - and turned back, gunned his little auto-rickshaw engine and drove against the traffic down the one-way street. And got us to our hotel.).

Similarly, we nod our head vertically as a non-verbal sign of assent, and shake it horizontally to signify - "no." I've traveled widely, and this has never failed me in communicating yes or no.

In India - most especially in Tamil Nadu - one expresses agreement by bobbling one's head up & down and side to side - sort of diagonally, or in an arc. Probably closest to an action an American would interpret as "not sure..." (though really, there is no corollary in the U.S. for this).

This was very confusing at first - we'd be negotiating with taxi or auto-rickshaw drivers (opening bid is doubled at site of white foreigner) - they say 60 rupees, I say 30 rupees, and so on. They would bobble their head, and I'd take it as a no, but it actually meant yes - I'd continue to argue and Becky would have to say - "Dad - he's agreeing with you. Let's get in the car."

The "bobble" is ubiquitous in South India. It is cute, endearing, and, when I've seen some women do it - kinda sexy. I've been practicing.